The Loss That Led To My Greatest Discovery

I was devastated. I couldn’t believe the relationship was over. I was convinced she was the answer to my prayers.

I had stepped out in faith and truly believed I was walking in God's will. Everything seemed to point to her being the one God had shown me I would marry.

So you can imagine my heartbreak and confusion when everything began to unravel.

I was left questioning everything — including my faith.

Had I truly heard God?

Or had I mistaken my own thoughts, emotions, or desires for His direction?

The loss of the relationship was brutal, but it was the blow to my faith that hit me the hardest.

How could I get something that important so wrong? And how could I trust myself to know God's will for my life ever again?

I had been passionately seeking God's will for my life for over 30 years, and it had led me here — broken and confused.

I had gone from being a respected church leader and Bible study teacher… to questioning everything I knew about God and life.

After years of pursuing God, I was filled with more confusion, hopelessness, and shame than ever before.

Honestly, I was exhausted.

For most of my life, I had been constantly seeking God's will.

I prayed for it.

I asked Him for direction.

And the truth is, He often answered in the form of powerful dreams and revelations that let me know He was there and had something to share with me.

Each time I thought: “This is it. This is the key I've been searching for.”

I would be filled with excitement and couldn't wait to share what God had shown me with my closest friends and family.

But each time, I would find myself right back where I started…

Still feeling like something was missing.

After years of trying and failing, I knew I had reached a crossroads.

If I continued on the same path, I would end up with the same result and risk slipping into a permanent state of hopeless despair.

The other path meant entering into unknown territory and trying something completely different.

It was at this moment I had to get honest with myself and admit that something must be broken inside me; something that was keeping me from seeing things from the right perspective.

And for the first time, this wasn't coming from a place of guilt and shame, but an honest and objective reflection of my life and where it had led me.

Even though I had always pursued God with passion and conviction, I wasn't getting any closer to knowing God's will... or living a fulfilling life.

Instead, I had lived with constant anxiety and fear that I was wasting years of my life in the wrong career or relationship.

And the longer it went on, the heavier that fear became.

It was time for a change.

This realization of my need for a perspective change caused me to approach God differently than I had in the past.

I realized as much as I claimed I wanted to grow in my relationship with God and walk by faith, I had been merely seeking Him as a means to another end.

In other words, I was seeking Him for what He could do for me rather than truly seeking a relationship with Him.

And that's when something became clear to me that I had somehow missed for years:

God didn't send His Son Jesus just so I could go to heaven when I died.

He sent Him because He wanted a relationship with me…

And with you.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Suddenly, I realized He was the fulfillment I had been searching for.

His will for my life is for me to know Him.

This is Psalm 46:10:

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Most of us think going to heaven is eternal life, but this is what Jesus said in John 17:3:

“Now this is eternal life: that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ.”

So eternal life doesn't start when we enter heaven — it is knowing Him, our eternal Father.

When I finally had this shift in perspective, I stopped coming to Him with a list of prayer requests and I just started showing up just to spend time with Him.

I would quiet myself and rest in His arms.

Instead of asking Him to do what I thought was best, I came to Him with an open heart and mind, asking for His perspective.

This one small shift in perspective changed everything.

When I started approaching Him as a young child coming to his loving Father, He began healing my heart and affirming my true identity in Him.

He began answering all my questions and revealing His will to me in ways I could have never imagined before.

He filled me with peace, love, and joy that can never be shaken, because they came from knowing Him.

Over the years since this revelation, I have come to understand that God never called us to strive to be good, avoid sin, or to know or walk in His will.

He created us for relationship and connection, and everything is meant to flow from there.

In John 15, Jesus said:

“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can bear fruit unless it remains in me.”

You see, bearing fruit is not a matter of effort or desire, but staying connected to the vine.

When it stays connected, it will produce fruit effortlessly, because it receives everything it needs from the vine.

Over time I began learning how to intentionally quiet the internal noise and become more aware of God's presence and voice in my everyday life.

I call this attunement — learning how to align your heart with the Holy Spirit so you can live from connection instead of striving.

Because when you remain connected to the vine, life begins to change in ways you can't manufacture through effort.

Over time, I began capturing these moments in a journal — recording what I sensed God was speaking and what I experienced as I followed His lead.

As I looked back, I started to notice patterns… ways He was guiding, speaking, and shaping my life that I couldn’t see in the moment.

That process became the foundation for something I knew could help others learn to walk in that same kind of relationship with Him.

That's why I have created a short, practical guide to help you step into a deeper connection with Him.

If you want to learn how you can begin cultivating a deeper relationship with God and start living in His peace, love, and joy, click the button to find out how to get started.